Emergency Butler. For Emergencies Only.

Men: Not ALL men.
Men to their daughters: Yes, all men. Every single one of them.

"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."

- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.

(Source: squidward-tenassholes, via easilyhumored)

I have so many ideas. Some are simple, like take down traffic lights and eliminate the post office. The bigger ones will be tougher, like, bring all of this crumbling to the ground.

(Source: iamnevertheone, via dailypawnee)

fleeten:

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

(via naughtynacirema)

whippit-princess:

lasso:



Guys seriously would you LOOK at mini Adam Scott from Boy Meets World circa 1994



was this when he was mayor

whippit-princess:

lasso:

Guys seriously would you LOOK at mini Adam Scott from Boy Meets World circa 1994

was this when he was mayor

(via thefuuuucomics)

beesmygod:

well the internet had a good run

beesmygod:

well the internet had a good run

(via chode-kroeger)

nullbula:

unphazedcat:

michiko-malandro:

thatdudeemu:

mothsfly:

kingjaffejoffer:

Digiorno uses the hashtag of women sharing their domestic violence stories to promote pizza

It’s not delivery, it’s misogyny.

Smh

oh my goodness

that pizza nasty anyway


they apologied, while that does not make what they did right, they are trying and recognise that it is a serious issue, please do not leave this out

nullbula:

unphazedcat:

michiko-malandro:

thatdudeemu:

mothsfly:

kingjaffejoffer:

Digiorno uses the hashtag of women sharing their domestic violence stories to promote pizza

It’s not delivery, it’s misogyny.

Smh

oh my goodness

that pizza nasty anyway

they apologied, while that does not make what they did right, they are trying and recognise that it is a serious issue, please do not leave this out

(via brolinapproved)

sofiaauditores:

*inhales* what a beautiful day *exhales* to play video games for 15 hours straight

(Source: cierin, via holographicsx)

zerostumbleine33:

bellah-doesnt-know:

I thought this was going to be a dirty joke then it was better

zerostumbleine33:

bellah-doesnt-know:

I thought this was going to be a dirty joke then it was better

(Source: tatermo, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

elijahelegia:

newsketches:

2007excalibur2007:

rapidbeta:

egobus:

omg my little brother was using my computer and look at his search history

image

so embarrassing

"sonic with boobies"

sonic fanfiction

Sexy anime girls with boobs

did anyone read the whole list

(via secretlyaperson)

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

(via sagihairius)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. “It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.” I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.” His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.” Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” “OK,” he said, “I hope I do have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!” Then he looked at me and added, “I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!” “I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” “My mommy loves white roses.” A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Reblog this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

didyoujustcallmenormal:

tattooedabovehazzasheart:

whorrifical:

there are tears running down my face.. like no joke. you have no heart if you just scroll past.

I am sobbing

I’m sobbing oh my gosh

(via panic-at-the-discount-store)